Tuesday, July 11, 2006

It's That Time Again

This is a hard time of year for me. It's that time where I completely love the scorching heat and frolicking around on the beach and at the lake, but I hate, hate, HATE finding a bathing suit.

This is not a problem for guys. They throw on a ratty pair of board shorts and look as though they have walked out of a fashion magazine because, let's face it, old is the new new. Hell, they can even strip off their pants and down to their undies for an impromptu swim. Not so much with me.

Every year I vow that I will start working out hard core in like, February to be in shape for the season of Trying On Bathing Suits and Not Feeling Like a Huge Cow in the Crappy Store Mirrors and Poor Lighting. I think some of you girls know what I'm talking about. It's like, no matter how skinny you are, that lighting in those dressing rooms--Good Lord! There are angles I didn't even know existed...

Anyway, the past couple of years I haven't been too bothered by this seasonal slump I usually fall into, mostly because I haven't had anyone to impress. This year, however, is different. Huw is coming to stay with me for two and a half weeks in August (YAY!!) and I have planned for us to go down to South Padre Island for a weekend. This, of course, calls for a new bathing suit. I mean, I have my old trusty one...the one I've had since I was about 19 that I love and have completely broken in so it now fits the contours of my body no matter how much my weight fluxuates. However, when the white part has turned to a dull shade of yellow for no apparent reason, even after having been washed numerous times, you know it's time to retire it.

One day Huw mentioned that he thinks I look nice in red. Well, this stuck in my head and was brought to the forefront of my mind while shopping one day before I went to visit him in London. I found a really cute red triangle-top bikini (I can hear the guys just yawning) at a store and I really wanted to buy it, but due to constraints on my purse strings, I was going to have to wait. Turns out, upon calling a few days ago, they have sold out. But here comes Sissy to the rescue. Her husband had bought her a bathing suit very similar to the one I wanted when they were on their honeymoon, but because he had bought her a size "small", she was no longer able to wear it. She has graciously loaned it to me for our SPI trip, but man...when it says "small", it means "tiny in the ass and you're kidding yourself if you think both cheeks are going to fit into this".

Due to this recent discovery, I have vowed (and this time not just in vain) to get my rear-end into shape and shave off some of those love-handles that were squeezing oh-so-sexily out of the bottom portion of the suit. Yesterday was my first successful day, so I hope to carry on this way at least 5 days a week. At least I have that "back up bathing suit" in case my efforts yield little to no results.

So, wish me luck. I might be sore and cursing everyday, but dammit, I'm going to fit into that itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny red and shiny small bikini.

Insignificance Conveyed @ 7:23 AM   11 GabbyGabbers

11 "Sure was sweet of you to drop in":

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Jona "told me"

Good for you! But seeing as I don't believe you really have love-handles (just more body than you were previously used to ;o)) I'm thinking Huw might not object to more flesh on view!

But that's by-the-bye, as you need to feel comfortable when wearing a bikini (I can't wear them at all, lol!) and so you do what you must, and good luck :o)

 
At 2:08 PM, Blogger anna "told me"

If I hadn't stained your gorgeous light blue suit in the wash all those years ago, you might have just the perfect option. I remembered that out of nowhere the other night, and felt fresh waves of sorrow...thanks for not bringing it up in your blog, though my conscience read the remorse and longing in every line :|

Actually, the red idea sounds fetching, and so new for you! Go with that.

 
At 4:51 PM, Blogger Tim-tambolini "told me"

It's funny, I just blogged about this very thing...trying on bathing suits. It resulted in me storming out of the store and almost bursting into tears. Damned those bathing suits and those badly lighted changing rooms. I'd look better naked on the beach than with a suit that I can't fit my ass into. ICK!

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger Dancinfairy "told me"

It is definately that time of year. I spent all Saturday looking for the type of bikini that I wanted and couldn't even find one that I wanted to try on.

 
At 2:02 PM, Blogger Curly "told me"

Definately the best thing to do is to only go swimming at night.

All problems solved - you won't even get sun-burnt.

Sometimes I wonder where my great ideas come from...

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger Chris "told me"

I'm not a particularly vain man, but speaking as a member of the courser gender, I can safely say I hate the lights and mirrors in changing rooms just as much as you do. I always look like a chubby, palid wideboy with bad skin like a relief map of the Andes. Couldn't they make them candlelit and with a big swarth of Vaseline on the mirror? Prefirably in a large changing room that will allow me to look at myself in clothes without also forcing me to stare up my own nostrils. I feel your pain sister.

 
At 6:06 AM, Blogger LĂ©onie "told me"

Ah the curse of bikini-shopping. I have the answer: get drunk. If you don't want to do that then make everyone else get drunk.

I am thinner and more toned when drunk, I'm sure. Also funnier, with better hair.

I'm sure you don't need to be worrying, but we all do. It's the price the universe exacts for allowing us to go on holiday.

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger chrissie "told me"

Ugh, there's nothing like bathing suit shopping to ruin your day. I personally believe that they have special brain clouding lights and mirror in the dressing rooms - what else could explain how it drives EVERYONE mad?

 
At 12:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous "told me"

not sure how best to state this, or even where to begin. ah, well, here goes:

a very recent event in my life is making me look at pretty much everything in a whole new light, especially things that have happened the last couple ofyears. one of the things on my list was the situation with you, lanette, and how it ended up so bitterly and full of anger.

everything that happened, all of my brash decisions, comments and actions are obviously done and gone, with the repurcussions already having taken place. for all of those things, and for any ways i ever hurt you, i apologize. looking back... well, let's just say it's easier to see things from a different perspective. i understand this probably matters little to you now (not just in the sense it's late and out of nowhere, but also because i am sure anything in relation to me is the last thing to cross your mind), but it's something that is well overdue. but know that i often look back and regret losing a great friend due to my inability to deal with reality. this contains no ulterior motives, it's just something on my list that i needed to do.

it's funny. words used to come so easily to me, and now this short message has taken me nearly half an hour to write, and i didn't even come close to saying what i was trying to say. ah, well, close enough. hand grenades and horseshoes and all that. Take care, and God bless.

jim

 
At 3:05 AM, Blogger Curly "told me"

LANETTE! GET YO TEXAN ASS TO THE KEYBOARD AND BLEEDIN'WRITE SOMETHING.

 
At 8:14 AM, Blogger Me Over Here "told me"

Curly, YES SIR! Just trying to think about something juicy and/or good to write! It will be up soon, keep your pants on :)

 

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