Thursday, December 15, 2005

I Need a Rascal Scooter for Christmas

I am officially old.

Yesterday, whilst mulling over various SPSS formulas and syntax, X and I started talking about our hair (yes, we DO get work done anyway. We’re women, we MULTI-task, see?). She was advising me on the next set of highlights I should don, and I had to shake my head in disbelief at the words that next sprang from her mouth:

“Lanette,” she began quizzically, “Are you going gray?”

Wha, wha, WHAT???

“Um, I don’t think so,” I ventured slowly, “…why…do you see something?”
“Not to freak you out,” too late, “but I think I see a gray hair.”
“GETITOUT, GETITOUT, GETITOUT,” I shouted, as if a wasp had landed in my hair, got itself tangled up, and stung me repeatedly on my scalp*.

X then separated the imposter from the rest of my brown/blonde locks, and being the stubborn, gray, coarse hair that it was, it refused to dislodge from my scalp on one yank. But soon (after 3 more good tugs), there it was, laid on her desk in all its graying (non)glory. We both stared in horror.

“I’m glad I’m not the only one,” were X’s only words of comfort to me.

After a thorough head check (hey, we needed a break from the SPSS stuff, that crap can kill you if you stare at it too long), she found at least 3 more grayies. And these were not hairs that COULD have been mistaken for the blonde strands I have naturally** been blessed with, no. These were undeniably GRAY hairs. They were of a different texture—thick, stiff, and almost white.

She stopped after the hair count of grays rose to three. She said it was because she couldn’t find any more. I think it was because she saw the tears welling up in my eyes.

Now, I don’t know about the rest of my female readers (or heck, even male readers) out there, but if you’re like me, you are in a sheer state of panic whilst in the shower every night because of the multitude of hairs you lose that eventually you end up sprawling out and gluing to the shower wall. Seriously, for a while when I was younger, I thought I was sick, and a side effect of the illness was hair loss. I even got tested for it, no lie. I have come to understand that it’s okay to lose about 100 hairs a day. But I seem to lose a LOT more than that; I lose 100 in the shower alone! That was a big enough worry. But now…THIS? GRAY HAIR???

Luckily, X told me that the wisdom hairs she found still planted securely in my head were buried underneath the other still-youthful hairs. So, although it may not be obvious, I am going gray. I’m only 24. Damn the stress.

So, Santa, if you’re reading this, I would very much like to find my very own, personal Rascal Scooter under our Christmas tree this year. My hair predicts I’ll need it sooner than I thought.



*A true story that befell my Darling.
** Am I lying?

Insignificance Conveyed @ 7:23 AM   9 GabbyGabbers

9 "Sure was sweet of you to drop in":

At 10:12 AM, Blogger The Grunt "told me"

Some gray hair can be rather distressing. But, at least you don't have whitewalls. I found out that my friend, who's only thirty years old, was using Grecian Formula to dye his hair. He had whitewalls. He looked like the paper editor from Spiderman.

 
At 11:18 AM, Blogger Huw "told me"

I have plenty of white hairs. I wouldn't mind, but they, like yours, are really thick. You did well to get this far: someone first spotted one of mine a few days after my 21st birthday.

 
At 11:39 AM, Blogger trishy "told me"

You're a funny girl. I have found a few gray hairs over the years, which freaks me out b/c my mom was completely gray at about 40, but alas, we live in the age of hair-dye, and that my friend, can work wonders.

I wonder if there is room in the Santa Baby song for a Rascal Scooter?

 
At 3:09 PM, Blogger Chris "told me"

Why, Mo, I know exactly how you feel...sort of...

Lots of people like to joke with me (at least, I think it's joking - though I'm not so sure anymore) that I'll be bald by the time I'm 30. Unfortunately, I do have a bit of a high hairline which just happens to be covered by bangs - but I have already decided that when I start to go bald than I'm just going to shave my head completely instead of having to endure the indignity of bald splotches.

 
At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous "told me"

Oh my goodness! I thought I was the ONLY person that plastered my hair to the wall in the shower! It's so good to know that I'm not a freak! Thank you for the reassurance!

 
At 2:15 AM, Blogger Jona "told me"

Lol, the benefit of grey is that when you have enough, going blond doesn't show the roots so bad ;o) Well, this is my silver lining anyway!

My grey clumps together too (there's an old wives tale that for every one you pluck out, three will return - I think it worked true on me!!) But now I'm older and wiser (ahem!!) the grey doesn't bother me as much as the loss of my long strong locks, it just doesn't grow the same any more :o(

And the worse thing of all - in the last few years I've had bouts of alopecia, luckily always hidden when on my head, but I miss my eyelashes and my nails suffer along too!

(I feel I should apologise as this isn't a pretty picture I'm painting - growing old STINKS, but luckily there is always someone faring worse than you ;o))

 
At 7:25 AM, Blogger Cleavers "told me"

The wonders of hair dye.

I won't tell if you don't.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger -J "told me"

This has nothing to do with your post here. I am commenting in answer to your question to me that posted on Thomas' blog the other day. You said Hi from Texas, and I laughed. It was funny to me because Thomas is from (lives in) Texas.

 
At 4:41 PM, Blogger OldHorsetailSnake "told me"

Gray hair is no detriment to a pretty girl like you. Just don't let your teeth turn that color.

 

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