Thursday, November 17, 2005

Too Little, Too Late

A history-laden ex-boyfriend has suddenly revealed that he has recently wanted to spend time with me to see “where it would go”. He is making claims that he misses me and is extremely paranoid about and jealous of my new relationship. This comes after several months of him making quite sure I knew that he wanted nothing to do with me; that “we” were never going to be again.

This is typical of my unfortunate pattern:

Meet boy
Date boy
Become more serious with boy
Long-term relationship with boy
Boy breaks up with me (for one reason or another)Mourn over loss of boy for WAY too long
Finally move on
Find new, improved boy
Old boy comes back around
Old boy wants a relationship again

Why, after you’ve finally moved on, do they resurface and are determined to place fear and doubts in your mind by thoroughly nit-picking your current relationship? It’s not working, but it’s extremely annoying!

Insignificance Conveyed @ 9:47 AM   18 GabbyGabbers

18 "Sure was sweet of you to drop in":

At 12:17 PM, Blogger Rob West "told me"

The best thing you can do is, as you told me, just not have any contact with him. His presence is clearly nothing but destructive.

If you simply cut him off, you don't have to worry about him having that affect on you, or how to act when you talk, or what to say, or what he might say, what you might start thinking about, how it will make you feel, etc.

Can the bastard.

 
At 12:27 PM, Blogger Huw "told me"

All my ex's are wankers. Especially all the ones that dumped me.

They all come crawling back though...

Wait.

Any second now.

 
At 1:24 PM, Blogger Chris "told me"

I wish I could say that I relate. I've never done much crawling and my exes have treated me the same. In fact, I seem to have the misfortune of being broken up with and then hated by my ex for no justified reason whatsoever.

I can see how it'd be annoying, but what I don't get is this guy's logic - or lack thereof. He must really think you lack in long-term memory and or smarts to think that you had forgotten about how he wanted nothing to do with you. They always have excuses - "Yeah, well, I was just talking then but I didn't mean it" - yes, you were just talking and made your point rather well. Goodbye.

Though, I can completely understand the whole jealousy thing. I get pretty jealous when I see my ex-girlfriends dating other guys. Doesn't mean I want them back, but I can't help but feel, "He can't be dating you! I was....then!" There, again, a complete lack of logic. Of course, I get jealous about more than just ex-girlfriends. I also tend to get jealous when it seems like no one gives an ish for me and would rather not be my friend.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Cleavers "told me"

I have one motto in life which you may find usefull, Lanette:

Boys are dumb. Throw rocks at them.

Thank you David & Goliath (the t-shirt makers, not the biblical characters - now, if it were them, that would be way cool).

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger Chris "told me"

Just don't throw rocks at the nice boys.

Like me.

And Benji...over there.

 
At 2:40 PM, Blogger Jona "told me"

Be strong, firm and most importantly, BLUNT with the ex. Good luck.

 
At 4:40 PM, Blogger Huw "told me"

Chris - I know this loathing you speak of. But I am quite convinced it is usually a case of transference, and that such girls are really just cut up that they lost out and take out their pain and self-loathing on me.

"You need to stop punishing yourself like this," I will tell such girls.
"WHAT?"
"I understand life is hard for you without me, but this 'hate' is just negative energy and is getting neither of us nowhere fast."
"What are you talking about?"
"I appreciate you are lonely without me, it's okay to say that."
"What? Lonely with my new rich and successful boyfriend, you mean?"
"Ah, such a classic cry for help. The 'new' boyfriend stunt."
"You are being ridiculous."
"It's time you moved on, got over me."
"Please stop shouting through my letterbox. It's late at night."

And so forth.

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger Curly "told me"

Yep, Yep, can you see where you went wrong?

Meet Boy.

God I sound like a lesbian, I'm not by the way. I don't think anyway.

These word verifications are no good for dyslexics - it takes me longer to read the WV than it does to type a comment, and I STILL get it wrong!

 
At 7:51 PM, Blogger fracturedfanatic "told me"

man, i stumbled on a jackpot of good blogs (got your link over at like sunday morning and enjoy your posts thoroughly). i wish there was a way for girls to mark their boyfriends (you know, like how we microchip dogs now) so that after breaking up, we could somehow transfer data to their little microchip that says, "don't date me, I am only down for mind games."

ah... future girls will have it so much easier :0. i kid, i kid.

 
At 8:34 PM, Blogger Me Over Here "told me"

Swankertons--I love how you're always to the point. Counting on you is easy now.

Capn--I think the history this guy and I share makes him think he has the right throw all logic out the window and say whatever he wants. And I think Huw's got the right thought pattern going...

Cleavers--Again, great advice. Just have to find me some nice, sharp rocks. But they will only be thrown at the guys that deserve it.

Jona--Being blunt is one of the hardest things to do. My current boyfriend said I was just being too nice for my own good (sorry if I mis-quoted him...it was something along those lines). I hate to hurt people, but there comes a time when you just NEED to. Thanks for the encouragement.

Huw--You always make me laugh, even when the chips are down. P.S. Your cheeks are puffing.

Curly--You are SO a lesbian. And I will toast to you when I'm there in May and we're all sharing a drink. My word verification is "foyyflem". Sounds like something Professor Frink from The Simpsons would say.

And F2--your blog proved most appealing and had me hanging on to every word. Glad you liked what you saw here, please come back again!

 
At 4:36 AM, Blogger chrissie "told me"

I think it has something to do with the new, improved boy. As in, old boy only wants you because he can't have you.

Girls rule, boys drool.

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger Me Over Here "told me"

Quite true, Chrissie, quite true.

 
At 8:04 AM, Blogger Rob West "told me"

Chrissie,

On the contrary, I've heard it suggested, and by people who would know, mind you, that girls go to jupiter to get more stupider, whereas your typical male is more inclined toward going to Mars in order to obtain candy bars, thus giving him the clear advantage.

Don't make me go there, cause I'll go there.

 
At 12:00 PM, Blogger anna "told me"

netters,

Which ex? I had the strangest notion last night, out of nowhere, that a certain ex was crawling back to you now. Weird, huh?

Swankertons, your logical mind staggers my own--and makes me laugh so I don't get too resentful-like. (I hope you saw my much-belated appreciation of your helpful family-relations comment back there.)

Huw, that's classic. Are all you Brits this delightfully self-deprecatory?

Back to netters: you're too prolific these days, and I know you have another, long entry, but I can't read it yet! Wait for me, don't write any more! Okay, you can. But email me with details about you-know-what.)

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger Me Over Here "told me"

Oh Nanners, anything for you! Lucky thing, I don't typically post over the weekend, so catch up girl! Email your way soon. I love and miss you!

 
At 12:34 PM, Blogger Simon Swinbank "told me"

Rob makes a very good point. Ignore the fool and he'll soon get the picture if he has a glimmer of intelligence......

 
At 11:04 AM, Blogger Rob West "told me"

Anna,

I did some digging on the Mo pile, found what you are talking about, and am pleased to report that: You're welcome.

Yo cuzzin mama welcome as well.

Now this post is nearly a week old, which is ancient in blog terms, so I hope you read this (and reply if you choose) before it is committed to the Archives (of DOOM).

 
At 6:18 AM, Blogger anna "told me"

Oh SNAP! I just read this comment, through a mere fluke of too-much-time-iness! Now it is beyond ancient, perhaps pre-universic, and will thus be lost in the ever-growing mound of Mo entries. Why did I even bother to respond. I don't know. To mark my path through the dark blog world, ah guess.

 

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