Saturday, October 15, 2005

Wedding Bells and the Such

I had been stumped as to what to write next in this here blog. But, upon composing an unnecessarily long email to my Darling, I found the subject: The blissful event that is A Wedding.

I love weddings. I know a good handful of you would groan at the sight of a frilly invitation sneaking its way into your mailbox (or "post", for you over there), but I go against the norm when it comes to this.

Flashback to 2003. What a busy year. Not only was I graduating from undergrad, I was also involved in two weddings a mere week apart from each other. First was my sister and brother in law's, the second was a childhood best friend's a week later. The hustle and bustle of buying bridesmaids dresses, having them altered, getting my incredibly long hair tortured and up-doed (because of which, I now have a hatred of bobby pins), creating extraordinay pew decorations, and calming my sissy down, I hadn't the time to just ENJOY the events. Some 5 months later, I found myself in my cousin's wedding somehow (I think it had to do with the fact that there were more groomsmen than bridesmaids at the time, and my cousin wanted to "keep it in the family" so POOF, there I was. Whatever, I still got to wear a pretty dress... ).

Cut to March of 2005. I'm at my cousin's wedding. Now, there's something to be said of this marriage, as it was a milestone in MY life as well (and we all know that the universe does, in fact, revolve around me). See, I thought my cousin, Chris, and I had an understanding. I thought we had this unspoken agreement between us that went something like this: YOU WILL NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL I AM AT LEAST ENGAGED. He broke that accord (okay, so maybe it was just something I created, but still...he's my favorite cousin, he should have KNOWN this stuff).

So, I knew what was to come. It's the customary, rote dialog that is spewed at me: clockwork.

Drunken Relative: "So, another one gone, eh, Lanette?"

Bitter Me: "Looks that way, Uncle _______."

DR: "So..."

BM: [cringing in wait]

DR: "When are we gonna be seeing YOU walking down that aisle?"

BM: [feigning polite laughter] "Oh, you know...I guess I'd first have to get a boyfriend."

DR: "Now, how does a pretty girl like you NOT have a boyfriend?" [Generic attempt to boost
my self esteem].

BM: "Gee, Uncle _______, I guess I just haven't found the right guy yet."

DR: "Well, no one's gonna be good enough for OUR baby." [Gives sloppy, half-drunk kiss on cheek]

BM: "I suppose not!"

DR: "Well, I'll tell you this, if I were 20 years younger..."

BM: [Nervous laughter] "HahahaaaaOkay, say, I'm gonng go get a drink now"

DR: "Mmm, a drink'll hit the spot!" [stumbles off to Open Bar]

And thus, you have the conversation I face at EVERY relative's wedding. Now, I know my family means well, but there's only SO MANY times you can hear this spiel before you die a little inside. At least, with my last cousin's wedding done, I won't be subjected to this torture for a while. Now, if my 13 year old second cousin passes me up, I'm going to have to change my views of weddings.

Despite all this, I have remained unjaded, and still find a wedding an exciting event. Tomorrow I am going to a wedding for 2 people I don't even know. One of the girls from work's brother is getting married, and she wants friends there she knows, so me and Nic(orina) will be crashing it. Complete with our flashy (but well concealed) flasks of liquor (as it's not an open bar). I have a very gorgeous dress to wear (compliments of this friend), and I'm excited to get all DOed up and have a fun time with great friends. We've even contemplated the idea of calling a cab to take us to and from the wedding and reception, so we can get properly boozed (although not so much to warrant a hangover the next morning) and still be safe.

I remember The Actress telling me once about how her and Significant Other of the Actress attended a wedding together. Now, I don't remember if they didn't know the people well or if there were other circumstances that kept them cuddled up in a corner table together, but I recall her telling me what a fun time they had. They would make fun of people, talk about those around them, Significant Other would practice his best "Tom Anderson" (Tom?) impression, and they would just sit back and have long conversations about nothing and everything at once.

Upon hearing this story at the time, I envisioned myself in the same situation, with my unknown significant other. I imagined how wonderful it would be to play the event off as our own (cheap) date. You know...both of us getting dressed nicely, him picking me up, both of us attending the wedding (me secretly planning ours at the same time: "I would have pink roses instead of red ones up there at the alter", etc.). Afterwards, driving to the reception talking about how nice the wedding was, but did YOU think it a bit strange when the bride sang to her groom, or did you notice the ring bearer picking his nose and later tasting the sample he'd collected?

At the reception, we nervously hold hands, searching for SOME familiar face, but upon finding none, we retreat to a lesser known table in the corner, where thankfully, no one bothers to sit with us. Over a good meal and even better free drinks, we proceed to get happily buzzed and strike up humorous conversation, with long glances shared here and there that have such a romantic air about them that they make both our hearts stop beating for a split-second.

A song is put on by the DJ of a slower nature, and due to our tipsy state, we brave the public stares and make our way to the dancefloor. In time, we are simultaneously swaying to the beat, wrapped up in each others arms, a stolen kiss here and there. Once our romantic urges are satisfied, we saunter off hand-in-hand back to our secluded table for cake and conversation.

All dancing and drinking done, we head home, quite at times and staring out the windows at the night sky. At home, well...that's for my imagination only.

And so that's how I see it played out. A bit over the top and beyond reality? Maybe, but I'd like to think not.

I hope that one day I get to share this experience with someone I truly love, because I think it would be one of those times we could both look back on and say, "I fell in love with you a little more that night."

Sidenote: A visit to the previous post would explain how I daydream in such detail.

Insignificance Conveyed @ 12:18 AM   6 GabbyGabbers

6 "Sure was sweet of you to drop in":

At 10:19 AM, Blogger chrissie "told me"

I am a little bit the same way about weddings - the BF calls me a "wedding junkie".

At 12:28 PM, Blogger anna "told me"


I believe the name you're searching for is Ted. Ted Anderson. And I believe he wishes to take you on your next wedding date. When people approach your table (finally!) and meet your S.O., they'll squeal, "Oh, we've heard so much aBOUT you!" to which he'll broadly flash his big white Chiclet teeth and say, "Good things I hope!" and laugh a hearty, business-world-appropriate laugh.

(I don't dream in detail, but I remember vividly those hilarious characterizations!)

At 9:08 AM, Blogger kate "told me"

It's gotten even more interesting now that he's introduced Beau, the crazy Jersey Guido, into our lives.

I love weddings too.

At 9:16 AM, Blogger Curly "told me"

You do certainly seem to attend a few of them don't you?

That drunken uncle is going to be me soon, the only way it's not going to happen is if I ensure that my siblings never re-produce. Or I could just aviod drinking at weddings.

At 12:20 PM, Blogger Me Over Here "told me"

Chrissie--If you're going to be any kind of junkie, shouldn't it be a "wedding junkie"?

Nanners--You always know everything, that's why I keep you around. I WISH Ted Anderson could be my wedding date...sigh. I hate going solo.

Katie--Can I just say that I LOVED "Beau", and hope I get to "see" more of him sometime soon?

Curly--Isn't it funny that I thougth I was going to be the first one of my high school class to be married, and now I'm attending all of my classmates' wedding? Funny? No. Sad? Yes.

And drinking is 3/4 the fun of weddings. Why stop? I still love my drunk uncles.

At 1:40 PM, Blogger Rob West "told me"

Just so you know, Mo, being a guy doesn't spare you the same exact, word-for-word conversation.

Only it's my Rhode Island yankee grandmother who lives in Florida

Nana: Rabbie, when ah you gettin married?
Rob: Oh, when I fidn the right girl, I guess Nana
Nana: Why don't you have gill-friend yet? Yeh such a h'yandsome boy..


And of course, the wors tpart is that I have half a mind to accept references from my half-soused Nana.

Sure Nana, you go ahead and give my number to that nice Catholic girl you're always talking about...


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